Rejection is always seen as a negative aspect, but people forget that with rejection there also comes endless lessons and possibilities. You have to open your heart and mind to rejection.
What is your reaction to rejection ?
I used to be really hurt by it but now that I’m saved whenever I come up against rejection I know it was something that 1. Wasn’t for me but 2. Also protection from what could happen as a result of that… it used to really affect me though not that I had major acceptance issues but it used to leave a “I’m not good enough” taste in my mouth now I really see it as their loss and something I didn’t need to be involved in from the start .God knows what’s best so I let him guide me and close doors or lock doors because I know better is on its way.
I was rejected from the high school I wanted to go to for music, the Baltimore School for the Arts. I didn’t take the rejection well at the time. I stopped singing for a few months and I wanted to give up. But instead, I joined the choir at the high school I ended up going to my second week there. And I’m glad I ended up doing that instead of going to BSA because I learned so much there and it’s a big part of who I am now. So from that experience I learned that sometimes I’m rejected because there’s something better out there for me.
I was rejected from a job position that I wanted to do (kinda). But I felt as though I wasn’t good enough to fulfill that role and when my friends were getting the same positions that I applied for I felt a little jealous/left out for the fact that they all got the job and I didn’t.
I was rejected from a college that wasn’t really my first choice but it was a big reach for me . And it was the first time I did something outside of my comfort zone . So it made me feel horrible and like it was a waste of my time and I shouldn’t try to go outside my comfort zone anymore.
What opinions from these rejections made you ladies feel like you weren’t good enough?
For me it was my limited beliefs and mindset, though I believed i should get it (whatever those things have been) i always felt unsure about myself going in so that’s not the right mindset to help me get ahead or keep me feeling empowered and then once the rejection hit that’s confirmation “I told you so”. It’s really important to keep your mindset on positive and empowering things and I was just all over the place, not feeling like I deserved a certain amount of money or a certain job, failing myself before I even knew what it would be.
Not getting into the school made me feel like I wasn’t good enough because everyone else I knew was getting in. And when I went to the audition, the judges commented on how strong my voice was and they were impressed that I spoke French. To this day I still don’t know what I did wrong and it still bothers me a little, and I think it’s a part of the reason I’m still insecure about my voice sometimes.
I feel like going into anything (not just interviews) you have to have the mindset that you’re going to make it because if you have the slightest doubt in yourself it easily can ruin your whole mindset.
I think if it’s something I really wanted I feel a lil down but I convince myself that the Lord has something better with my name on it and that it just wasn’t meant to be or it was not my time yet which is fine. I’d rather be rejected then told to be on the look out or placed on a wait and drive myself up the wall thinking about it. As far as relationships I dnt want to speak anything negative into existence but so far that has been going well. I’ve had 3 and the last one has being going on for whoa 7 years now. (Sorry, I had a moment)
How can we take these rejections and have them push us without going through the sad phase and it taking months to get over?
I think the sad phase is healthy and you have to go through it. The sad phase after rejection helps you appreciate what happens after it . Like I was so sad and hurt that I didn’t get into that school but then I got into an even harder school to get into afterwards . I feel like that rejection helped me appreciate my acceptance even more.
For me, it helps to think of my accomplishments that are related to the rejection. Like I didn’t get into that high school but I got into my top music school for college. I agree, the sad phase can be healthy as long as you learn how to come back from it stronger.
I think it becomes a matter of “proving them and they wrong” not even directly more so for my own benefit. So much emphasis about us and our character is “determined” by things like our resumes and transcripts and this and that but it’s like I’m not only this piece of paper or my grades I know I’m capable of doing what you needed me to so now I’m about to do that somewhere else or for myself and kill it and have you all looking like “how sway?” at the end of the day though it sucked it’s not them who gets to decide who I am or who I become they are just a step along the way and if we can mutually benefit from the relationship, job, whatever but i know I’m worthy and able stuff like that is what encouraged me to do my own thing and carve my own path, a “you don’t get to decide” mindset.
I think it is good to remember that we win some and lose some. So no matter what happens, there is a reason why we get rejected for certain things and not other. There is always something better waiting for us. That’s how I get over things.
Hope you all can take these responses to reflect and to learn from them.