Is that Relationship Really Meant to be ?

Below are some questions & some answers that were asked and answered by different members in BBF .

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Q: Do you ladies believe an individual can stop the abuse they’re putting on their partner ?

A1: Honestly, it’s a learned habit. So my answer is no. Once you give your partner the okay to treat you as such it’s hard to tell the abuser enough. Why ? Because the permisssion was already given. Not saying it’s right.

A2: People are different and situations vary so I do not know how to answer the question. I do think abuse shouldn’t be tolerated at all so I don’t know if abuse can b stopped once someone has started.

A3: If it can be stopped why even start it or violate and hurt someone you love ?

Q: What do you classify as abuse ?

A1: Well abuse in my opinion is usually a reoccuring action. If they were allowed to do it once they will do it again. No matter what love is promised. Abuse should never happen if the relationship was ever meant to be. I classify either partner hitting or verbally attacking the other in an unacceptable metter.

A2: Abuse is anything you keep doing to the victim that he or she doesn’t like.

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Q: Do you ladies feel like mental abuse isn’t really thought of in a relationship because the individual isn’t physically harmed ?

A1: Abuse isn’t really seen as such because love makes you so blind.

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Q: How can women help build self-esteem  in others so that they can walk away from a toxic relationship ?

A1: I feel like love is so misconstrued and sometimes it’s the enemy.

A2: I think that women or anyone that loves the person whose in an abusive relationship can help them build up their self-esteem by letting them know they’re worth more and shouldn’t be treated badly by somone who claims that they locve them.

A3: I feel like the help she would need is her friends being there to help her see her worth. A hard head does make a sore a** , but eventually she’ll listen and walk away.

Reply to A3: But words isn’t enough to get a victim to listen and open her eyes.

Q: How do you help a female whose already gotten herself so deep in and so blinded ?

A1: The best thing for loved ones to do for a person being abused is to make sure he or she wants the help. Cus then it will seem like the loved ones are just talking to a wall. They need to communicate to him or her that what they’re going through isn’t normal then take the next action steps from there.

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Q: Do you girls think abuse is a learned behavior from both perceptions ?

A1: No. I think you can learn what abuse it itself. But not learn how to be abusive towards someone else.

A2: I feel like it can be learnd based off of what the individual is exposed to.

A3: Yes and no at the same time because abuse can come from PTSD or other disorders and this person may not have learned abuse, but then again growing a household where abuse may have happened can lead to someone reproducing it in the future.

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Q: Do you feel like it is the responsibility of the partner to help the abuser seek a form of counseling ?

A1: The person will have to want to get help for themselves first cause if they don’t want it then nothing is going to change.

A2: If the person being abused really want to help the user and the relationship , then yes. But there comes a point where you may not be able to help the abusive person.

A3: It is good to make the abuser aware that they are being abusive because sometimes they are so us to it that they don’t realize how abusive they are maybe pointing it out like ” hey I really want you to seek help and get counseling.”

A4: It also depends on the state or country someone is in.. In Morocco there are a lack of laws that protect women from abusive relationships ,so it’s pretty much legal to be abused.

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Abuse is not justifiable. It is not your fault for your abusive partner to abuse you. You are beautiful and you are worth some much more than being treated as if you are less than a person. Speak and reach out to those that can help you. There are some resources pasted below, but you are always welcome to send us a personal message to speak.

Resources : 

Womenslaw.org

The National Domestic Violence Hotline

www.raccfm.com

https://rainn.org

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