Why don’t we ever speak about it ?


Why is it so hard for us young women of color to talk about sex? Isn’t sex a normal thing to do? Am I not a lady if I speak on it?

It’s so uncommon for us as young women to speak about sex because it’s seen as a taboo. When being raised as a girl, majority of our parents advise us to avoid sex at all cost. “Remember baby, save yourself for the right person. Wait until marriage. Keep your private parts to yourself.” Not only are your parents telling you that you should avoid sex, but then here society comes with labels. If you have to many partners than you will receive a negative label. Do you ever think about how that makes me feel as a female? I am not exposing myself by expressing my sexuality. Just like you, the man, expresses your sexuality is the same way I want to express it.

Young women should know that it is important to talk about your sexuality because no one knows your body the way you do. Don’t be ashamed of how you feel. You are a human being.  I am not saying you need to talk about every single thing you do with your partner(s), but you do have the right to talk about how you feel and to ask questions. Some women are so much more critical about sex than men are and that’s okay too. We have to realize that sometimes us women make it hard on other women to express their thoughts and experiences when it comes to sex. Some women actually shame other women for exploring their sexuality. That’s really not cool.

The sex talk has been normalized for men within society. And for women we are only suppose to look at sex through the lens of love. Like I stated before it is important for us to embrace and to discuss our sexuality because we are all hypersexual beings no matter if we believe it or not.

More importantly, sex isn’t just sex. There is so much more to it. Why don’t we discuss the emotional aspect of sex? Or about why I have to wait until marriage? Or about how I know who the right person is? Why can’t we speak on it like it’s a normal topic? Like we need to answers these question. Some women experience certain emotions after sex, and are usually told to get over it. No, why can’t we speak on it? You want me to stay sacred for whom? And to add on to it, you want me to do this with the right person, but how am I going to do that when you don’t want to talk about sex. Discussions can go further and deeper into sex. This can help answer questions like this. There is so much more to it.


Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature. –Marilyn Monroe



6 thoughts on “Why don’t we ever speak about it ?

  1. hermelinepierre says:

    I totally agree with this but it sucks that we have to keep up this facade of being modest and “lady like.” I feel like as a woman of color, the other issue is the stigma that black women are “freaky” in bed and we’re just overly sexualized which it makes it hard to talk about

    Liked by 1 person

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